These primordial, mouth breathing, knuckle dragging, dark ages throwbacks deserve as much dickishness as I can possibly muster. My apologies Phil, but I promise this is my big finale before doing the Mr. Nice Guy routine from now on.
While cordial debate is my preferred method of discussion, I can no longer stand by as these piles of monkey tar continue to read a 3rd grade level headline on Evolution, then proclaim themselves fit to debate the issue. Let me be clear. There's no issue to debate. You're idiots and I'm sick and tired of hearing your lame ass attempts to describe Evolution in terms that anyone with a rudimentary background in the science can patently see as ignorant, and simplistically wrong. You are wrong. But hey. Just to be clear, let me point out exactly where you are wrong so there's no issues with vagueness. Get ready to read some logic you shitwads.
If you have the stomach to read the entire steaming pile of elephant splooge, you'll note that there's not a single defensible argument put forth in favor of creationism. Not one. They had to mine the bible all over the place for quotes from various sources that they could angle in such a way so as to make it appear as though the person knew his shit. Nope. They didn't.
"The first man was a son of God by creation (Luke 3:38)." Yeah. We don't even know who the hell wrote Luke you morons. And you're quoting it as a reliable source? It was written ANONYMOUSLY.
"The early chapters of Genesis tell us that Adam was the first human being, and Jesus Christ confirmed that Adam and his wife Eve constituted the first human couple (see Matthew 19:4-5; Mark 10:6-7). Later Paul affirmed that Adam was the first man (1 Corinthians 15:45). He also restated that "Adam was formed first, then Eve" (1 Timothy 2:13)." You're quoting people who were quoting the book that you are trying to get us to believe in. Because they parroted what was in Genesis, it adds credibility? From under what illogical rock did you crawl?
I could go on and on with the BS they parade out as proof of Genesis, but it all boils down to selective grabbing of snippets of text from this book or that, then smashing it all together in what they hope looks like a good argument. You know what actually would be a good argument? Just say "Go read the bible and make up your own mind." THAT would be impressive, but it'll never happen. They know full well that if you do read it, you'll understand how batshit crazy these pudding brains actually are.
Here's the fun part though. They actually try to argue against Evolution, and here's what they have to say.
"The atheistic theory of evolution supposes that life evolved by sheer chance." Evolution isn't atheistic. It's scientific. There's a difference. That said, No it doesn't. Evolution is anything but sheer chance. Perhaps the incense is rotting your brains or the mind-numbing sermons are having the intended effect, but no matter how many times you say that evolution is "random chance," you're still wrong. It isn't, but you have to actually read words to understand that.
"Yet evolution cannot provide any meaning and purpose for the presence of human life on planet Earth." So fucking what? Something's wrong because it doesn't give you the answers you were hoping for? Thank Zeus YOU weren't in charge of eradicating Polio.
"This erroneous theory provides no hope for the future of our chaotic civilization. It offers no real reason for the cause of all the appalling problems afflicting our age. How can we make awesome technological progress but at the same time not yet understand how to effectively deal with the escalating evils that threaten to overwhelm us?" It doesn't explain why chocolate tastes yummy either. What's your damned point? Your bible doesn't tell me why Salma Hayek's tits look so squeezable, yet they do. Is the bible wrong because it fails to explain something it doesn't purport to explain? No. It's wrong because we have proven it wrong time and time again and because it's so fucking self contradictory that it buries itself without our help.
"And yet, divine creation helps explain everything when we really come to know and understand its many implications. Scientists continue searching in vain for a theory that explains everything—when we already have one!" Yep. And I already have a reason for why teenage boys spend so much time in the shower. They're reciting scripture from memory. I'm just as wrong as you are, but my explanation works too! Therefore, I guess I should go with it since it explains the confusingly long time it takes to wash oneself. Isn't complete ignorance fun!
"Ultimately, only the Bible explains both the origin and meaning of life on earth. Only God's prophetic Word reveals where mankind is really headed as we face an otherwise unknown and increasingly uncertain future. The Bible reveals why humanity exists and the majestic nature of our final destiny. Atheistic evolution, sadly, has no clue and no say!" Back to the teenage boy thing and the thing about the theory not explaining what it doesn't claim to explain... Oh hell. You sicko, ignorant, arrogant douche nozzles can continue on with your fantasyland bullshit all you want. Quit pretending to know shit you haven't studied, and quit trying to get others to bask in the glory of the crap spewing from your gaping pie holes.
Phew! Damn. That felt good. Sorry again Phil. I'll play nice from now on. I promise.
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