If not, expect that the skin on the backs of your hands will mysteriously thin out as you get older, revealing more of the veins and bones within. In addition, your agility and speed will reduce, mental cognition will fade, and you will be prone to bouts of gas and lost TV remote controls. Yes ladies and gentlemen, all these horrible things and more will happen to you if you are not drinking clustered, ionized water.
Don’t believe me? Well just look around! The proof is everywhere. Did you know that we once lived on a planet that was full of vibrant, happy people living hundreds of years of disease free existence because the water was naturally clustered and ionized? Yes, it’s true. Water molecules were once more likely to lump together into smaller “clusters” of only a few molecules vs. the large clusters of molecules we now have. Right about the same time that commercial agriculture was being developed, water underwent a serious catastrophic change in the molecular energy of its ionized, magnetic potential for locomotive protuberances. The result is chunky water full of molecules that more closely resemble H2000O1000. Do you really want to be cramming your body full of those giant toxic water chunks? Are you nuts?!
Scientists all over the world have known for years of the existence of a top secret water de-chunkificator that provides them with the blissful existence of our ancient ancestors, who largely laid next to waterfalls while being fanned and fed grapes by a legion of servant lemurs. These scientists hung around in lab coats drinking the improved water and wringing their hands while laughing maniacally at the fate of innocent people like you! They knew that they had the secret, and you did not. They guarded it closely.
But now the secret is out! Out of the sheer goodness of his saintlike heart, Dr. Masuro Emoto has made this scientific sounding system available to everybody! In fact, the under-sink unit is available for a low, low price of ONLY $2,495.95 (plus $6.95 S&H). For a lifetime of orgasmic, chocolate flavored bliss, isn’t this a small price to pay? In addition, the unit comes with a cool screen that flashes various numbers which change when you press any of the equally cool buttons on the side.
QUICK!!! you need to order NOW as Dr. Emoto is being hunted by a team of evil scientists who are out to destroy civilization, shut down the release of this revolutionary technology, and populate the world with slime creatures who like to crawl up your pant legs and cause major skeeviness. These scientists will stop at nothing to shut down the selfless generosity shown by Dr. Emoto. Only YOU can take control by buying three or four of these units to give away to friends whose lives you want to improve. Just think of how much they’ll love you when you present them with a gift of a Dr. Emoto Water Ionization Clusterer Whizbang 1000! You’ll be the toast of the neighborhood! Everybody will love you for improving their lives, saving civilization, and stopping the slime creatures. Order now!
But WAIT! There’s more! Because we have been drinking this magic water, we have developed psychic abilities that allow us to determine that YOU (yes you, don’t look around the room) are the kind of person who is capable of and deserving to make giant, obscene piles of money. Don’t you deserve happiness and health? How would you like to make the world a better place, improve the health, happiness, and hair texture of all your friends, AND get richer than Bill Gates?
For a limited time, for only $1,000 extra, YOU can become and exclusive dealer of Dr. Emoto’s Super Duper Water system! Simply send in an extra $1,000 and you’ll get as many units as you’d like (minimum 50) for only $1,495 apiece! Simply re-sell the units to people who you care about for the standard $2,495.95 and earn $1,000.95 for yourself! Some quick math shows that you could literally earn 50million dollars in only 1 month.
What are you waiting for! Your new life awaits. Act now! Click HERE.
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